Letting Yourself Go?!?!

As promised on Facebook earlier....I got this thought in my head today and it kinda sorta pissed me off.  I see it everywhere....women that just because they are mothers and have more on their plates then they used to have completely let themselves go.  They don't do their make up anymore, they have gained a ton of weight, don't care what they wear, and have basically all around said screw it and then bitch because their men don't give them ass anymore....lets think here....hmmmm...is there an answer to this....something to fix it?!?! Yep, there sure is....GET OFF YOUR ASS AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND STOP BLAMING IT ON BEING A DAMN MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a very laid back person and yes, I did come very close to falling into this trap myself but damn it...step back and look at yourself in the damn mirror!!  You deserve better for yourself and your children deserve to walk next to someone who feels good about themselves which helps with their confidence in the future!  If you don't know me personally let me just quickly tell you a day in the life of me....

6:30-7:00 *get my butt out of bed
7:00-8:15 *fix breakfast, drinks, change diapers, get mandy ready for school and off to the bus stop
8:15-10:00 *lazy time....movies, cuddle time, and sit back trying to fully wake up with my coffee while my children tear apart my living room while I pretty much sit back and watch.
10:00-10:30 *get kids changed and ready for the day
10:30-11:30 *go to my 92 year old papaw's house to let the dog out and take him anywhere he may need to go and see if he needs anything at all
11:30-1:30 *boys nap time (thank god!!!) so I have some quality time with Sky and try to clean up whatever mess they have made to make my house at least look decent
1:30-4:30 *take care of the kids and try to keep them from wrecking what I have cleaned up already, take a shower, do my make up, do my long ass hair, get dressed in decent clothes, help mandy with her homework, get dinner together, and then leave for work.
4:30-10:15 *at work making some $$$
10:15-till i pass out *try to have some relax time without kids up my butt!!!!

yes, my days are absolute hell!  Plus when you add on top of this that I am an ex pain pill addict and am now stopping the medication that kept me from having withdrawals and am in full blown hell and pain, most women would say screw it!  but at the same time....about 8 months ago i looked at myself in the mirror and actually started to cry!  i wasn't wearing makeup anymore, i was up to 216 pounds, in a size 20, and just hated who was looking back at me in that mirror.  I seriously wanted to blame it on my kids and how i never have time for myself but i basically said fuck that!!!!  i cant blame me not taking care of myself on my kids.  I take the time to make them look good and they deserve to walk next to a mother that looks damn good too!!!  So, in the last 8 months i have dropped 66 pounds, 12 pants sizes, wear makeup every damn day, do my hair, nails, toes, and it actually makes me feel sooooo much better!!!!

I actually dread walking through Walmart because of how many women I see with only 2 or 3 kids and they look so worn out and funky that its actually disgusting!  Would you want to be the kid walking next to you? Some women don't even take the time to match their clothes....SERIOUSLY?!?!?

So for all of you women out there that have totally and completely let yourselves go...please think about your kids and realize that it was you that brought them into your life and that it is not their faults that you look the way that you do.  Please think about them and how much happier you and they will be to be out and looking good together! Plus, people like me wont be looking at you and then wanting to walk the other damn direction!!!

P.S.  I promise that if you take care of yourself and start looking better that your man will not be able to keep his hands off of you which is a stress reliever in itself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone Needs an Outlet!!!

Well, as most of you know my life is absolutely crazy and I rarely find time for me at all!  For example it has been over a month since I have had the time to even  think about blogging!  I have always had one outlet and it is also pretty much the way to my soul!  MUSIC!!!  I will listen to any kind of music as long as the lyrics actually have meaning!  I cannot stand the songs that are completely meaningless and have absolutely no point to them at all!!!

Ever since a young age I would just listen to music constantly just to hear the words.  I am very good at finding a song for almost every situation in my life and it is basically a major stress reliever for me.  If it weren't for music I seriously don't know who or where I would be in life.  All 4 of my children have their own songs as well....Amanda's is "in my daughters eyes" by Martina McBride, Sky's Song is "I'll stand by you", my boys songs are "baby" by Brittney Spears and a few others....

Several people including my fiance and several of my ex's and friends know that the true and honest way to get to me and into my heart is through music.  They have found songs that have both broken my heart into a million pieces and also made their way into my heart so deep that they will stay there forever.  I even have a binder that is full of the lyrics i have actually written out by hand of the songs that have meant the most to me throughout my life.

For those of you who don't know me personally, there are parts of my life that I don't tell anyone about because in all reality I have had a rough life and am actually grateful for some of it because those horrible things that happened to me have made me the person that I am today!  They have made me a mother that is determined to give my children all that I possibly can (I basically spoil the hell out of them which isn't always a good thing), they have made me always want to be able to stand on my own two feet without having to rely on someone else, and they have taught me life lessons that some people will never have to learn.  And of course with almost every one of these personal situations I have been able to find a song or songs that have helped me get through them without losing my mind.

I'm sorry if this blog is kind of all over the place but all of my kids woke up from their naps as I was just started and are insisting on being in my lap and trying to type for me....lol....that and I am just naturally scatter brained!!  Well, time to get off of this computer and clean up, bathe kids, and get ready for work....yay for me!!!  I will probably continue this blog at a different time when kids aren't distracting me every 2 seconds and hitting every key they possibly can!!!!!!

They do and say some crazy things!!!

As all parents know kids can say and do some crazy things that either make us gasp or can make you laugh your ass off!!  If you have ever actually met my daughter Sky then you know that she definitly will make you laugh for hours on end!  Yesterday she was a total trip and was making me laugh like crazy even though I was feeling like total poo!  For example this conversation happened yesterday:


Sky: Mommy, did you know that I have bones in my belly button??
Me: Oh you do huh?  I didnt know that....how do you know?
Sky: Because im smart mommy and I can feel them in there, duh!
Me: I know your smart but they arent bones sweetie...thats where you were connected to mommy when you     were in my tummy.
Sky: Whatever mom!  I know I have bones in my belly button because I am smarter then you are!
Me: (laughing) oh ok Sky, whatever you say sweetie....
Sky: Exactly mom, Just like I told you!!!!! 


Apparently she wasnt done because about 20 minutes later she continued


Sky: Momma, I also have bones in my boobie!!!
Me:  No you dont sweetie, you have bones under them though called your ribs.
Sky: But mommy, they are part of my boobies and thats why I said that I have bones in them!!
Me: Oh, ok I understand sweetie....you are just too freaking cute booger!!!
Sky: Mom, im not a booger!!!!!!! Im Princess Sky!!!!!! Now say it right!!!!!
Me: Sorry my little Princess Sky!  I love you!
Sky: You better love me because I love you too!!!


I couldnt help but laugh my butt of for a long minute!  And she says stuff like this all of the time!!!  Well, my boys are out of their room and trying to get into eveything so I have to go for now....

Are they crazy or is it me?!?!

Kids....How in the world can you explain them? Crazy, insane, loveable, hugable, looney, hyper....well i think you get the idea...

I totally and completely love all 4 of my kids to death but seriously sometimes I wonder if it is them that are crazy or if its just me losing the last brain cell that I have in my head!  Well, Amanda finally went back to school today, so its been a little more quiet in the house because she is of course my most high maintenance of them all even though she is my biggest helper of them all.  She will be home in about 30 minutes so im trying to get this typed before she gets home or she will try to read every word of it....  Sky is attached to my hip like an extra butt cheek which I love but seriously I didnt just drop 60 pounds to grow an extra one!  She is following me everywhere I go which of course like i said in my last post even includes the bathroom.  But in all honesty most of the time I have loved every second of it today....she is keeping a smile on my face. Well except for right now when I am trying to type this and she is all over me like white on rice!  My boys are in their room watching some spongebob (thank god!!!!!!)  When i already feel like i have an extra butt cheek, lord knows when they are in the room i feel like I have 2 more on top of it!!!  One recliner can only hold but so many people!!! 

I know this post is all over the place but so is my brain so just bare with me if you dont mind!!!  Well, I have decided that for the next gift giving day I seriously truely want one of the little vacume things that you just turn on and let it go!  I have already vacumed my house 4 times today and guess what?? it needs it again!!!!  I really dont care if its for Valentines Day (yes i said it but that doesnt mean thats all i want if you know what i mean lol), my birthday (god help me, im going to be 30 and am asking for a vacume!), or even St. Patricks day!!!! I really dont give a damn what day it is but i want one!!!  im sick of killing vacumes because i have to use them so damn often!!!  And for the crazy people out there wanting to tell me to buy a better vacume, just forget it now!!!!  my mother has one of the rainbow ones and that thing is beyond annoying!!!  yes it works great but you have to put water in it and then clean that nasty crap out of it after....no thank you!!!  not with how often i have to clean this place up!!!  But seriously....Im begging for one that does it constantly and on its own!!!  Dont go calling me lazy either because I chase after these little rugrats constantly!!!

On a different note....BOYS ARE DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!  Yesterday morning I woke up to a total and disgusting mess in my boys room!!!  When i walked out of my room I could already smell it!!  I just figured one of the boys had a super nasty diaper and it was going to suck to change!!!  Yeah...i was beyond wrong!!!  When I walked in there Tony had no diaper on and Kage was covered in poop!  Not to mention it was all over their beds, floor and walls!  And when I say on the floor, what i mean is that it was completely rubbed deep into the carpet!!  I was feeling beyond like crap already and almost puked my guts up all over their floor. but that would have just been more mess for me to clean up!  ewwwwwwwww!!!! So, i get them out of that nasty ass room and cleaned up in the tub...I seriously dont think I have ever been so terrified to go into that room in my life!  Well....I finally went in there and attacked it and gagged the entire time!  After being in there for almost an hour scrubbing and all the poop was up and put every scented thing i have all over everything, guess what?!?!?!?! IT STILL STINKS LIKE HIGH HELL!!!!! I even went back in there today and cant figure out where the crap (litterally) that smell is coming from!!!  So, in conclusion....BOYS ARE DISGUSTING AND IM TO LIGHT STOMACHED AND GIRLY FOR THIS CRAP!!!!!

Well, time to get ready for work (super excited to get out for a few hours) and go make some $$$$...
Lots more to blog about so ill write again soon!!!

Must I lose every brain cell?

Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when I popped 4 kids out my body!  Sometimes I seriously miss having me time!  I wake up in the morning to hear "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy...must I continue..im sure you get the point!  This is what i hear all day long!  Its nonstop and sometimes I really want to change my name!  Dont get me wrong...I love and adore my children with every ounce of myself but at the same time there are times that if I dont get 30 minutes to myself I just want to lose it!  As of here lately the only time that i even get a minute to myself is when im at work.  And in my opinion that does not count as me time! Im at work to make money not to have fun.  But i do have to admit that if I didnt have my job I would completely lose my mind!  So, for those of you out there who are stay at home parents...more power to you and I do have to admit that you are 100% stronger then I am!!  I was a stay at home mommy right after Amanda was born for about 6 months and not only did I put on about 30 pounds in that time but I about lost my mind.  I couldnt even imagine how it would be with 4 kids.  But now that I do have 4 kids I have learned that when you are in a house with all of them that not one moment is a me moment!!  And by saying not even one moment that does involve the bathroom!!  There are days that I wish and even pray that I could just go pee without being interupted by a kid coming in and saying "mommy!!!!"  Everyone just tells me to shut and lock the door but the issue with that is our bathroom door doesnt even shut tight let alone lock! All that they have to do is push on the door and bingo bango bongo there's momma!  And trust me that is definitly a time when you want to be left alone! lol!  So, ive come to cherrish the time I have alone when I come home from work!  Yes, there are times when 1 of them is up during that time, for instance Amanda is sitting here next to me awake right now, but that doesnt really bother me too much.  Because I cherrish this time alone so much it has made me have insomnia sometimes.  I really do miss sleep but there are times that I seriously miss my time alone!  If there is any advice that any moms or dads can give me I definitly welcome it!  Finding a baby sitter on the weekend is almost imposible because not many people can handle all 4 of my kids at one time....Well....time for me to get to bed.....or at least try to!!!  I will put the rest of my blogs up about each of my monkey later...

Amanda Jewel!!

Amanda Jewel was my first born and is an amazing child!  Most of the time I really dont know where Id be without her!  She was born on 6/18 and that was beyond the best day of my life!  When I found out I was pregnant with her it was beyond a surprise because I was told by more then one doctor that i would never have any children at all because I have PCOS (polyocystic ovarian syndrom).  I had finally accepted that I would never be a mother even though I was not very happy about it when all of a sudden that test was positive.  I have hurricane Isabele to thank for having her....well the hurricane and a few other things lol!  I concieved Amanda between days 5 and 9 of having no power after the storm hit!  Having her changed my life in may ways but all of the changes were positive!  She has been stubborn since the very beginning because she was almost a week late!  She was due on the 13th of June, and then I was supposed to be induced on the 16th but the doctor forgot to schedule it. I had no idea what to expect when having her but I am eternally greatful for an epideral! Those labor pains were beyond horrible until that huge needle was put into my back!  I was scared shitless about it but to any woman who is about to have a baby....I promise you that it is beyond worth all the fear and little pinch you feel!  She weighed 7lb 0oz and was 21 inches long!  The moment she was born and they laid her on my chest I couldnt help but cry my eyes out because she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life!  The day we got out of the hospital was also the day we moved into our apartment!  Imagine bringing home a baby to a house full of boxes!  We didnt even have a crib yet!  But one thing that I will say is that she was beyond spoiled by everyone around her!!!!  She was my first born and I love her with every single ounce of my heart!!!  She is my precious little angel and I will never let her forget that!!!!

Introduction!

Well, I started a blog on a different site and decided that I didnt like it too much.  I have a friend that has her blog on this site and absolutly love it.  She is actually the one that inspired me to blog in the first place!  Her blog is Holdin' Holden.  If you are a parent I would definitly recomend checking it out!  Thanks girl for giving me a way to vent while getting other peoples opinions at the same time! 

Now as for my life.... I am a 29 year old mother of 4 children that are all 7 and under! 

First there is my little angel Amanda Jewel!  She is 7 years old and her DOB is 6/18/04.  She changed my life more then anything else!  I was in a bad place in my life when I got pregnant with her.  She changed me by getting me out of the hard drugs that I was deep into and making me refocus and straighten out my priorities!  I was told that I would never have children so she was more then a surprise!  This is why her middle name is Jewel...she is my precious little Jewel and always will be!  She is 7 going on 17 of course and is starting to think that she knows more then me....but at the same time I love her with every ounce of my heart!!!

Second is my crazy and insane little princess, Patricia "Sky"!  She is about to be 4 years old on 1/5/12.  Before I found out I was pregnant with her I was told that I needed a hysterectomy.  Needless to say when they called me to see why I missed my appointment to finalize everything I cussed them out stating how I was already pregnant and how that doctor could take his degree and shove it up it ass!  Sky can keep you entertained for hours at a time!  She says and does things that just make a person say OMG...that was the cutest but weirdest thing I have ever seen in my life!!!  She is also way to damn smart for her little age and understands way way way too much!!!!

Next are my 2 handsome little boys!!!  Ian and I decided to actually try to have a baby boy!  I didnt know if we would be lucky enough to get pregnant again, let alone get the little boy that we wanted.  Well, needless to say we got 2 of them and luckily for us they are both boys!!!! They were born on 9/23/09!!  First there was Rodney "Kage", and then out came Charles "Anthony"!!  They are the 2 most precious and lovable little boys ever!  I seriously didnt know how in the hell I was going to take care of 2 babies at one time (sometimes still wonder to this day!) but im making it happen!  Even though they are twins they are completely different!  Kage is quiet, lovable, and definitly a momma's boy but beyond sneaky!!! Tony is loud, crazy, and beyond a momma's boy too!

When you put all 4 of them together you never know what your going to get or what they are going to get into!  I love all 4 of them more then anything on this earth even though they drive me absolutly bat shit crazy sometimes!!  I have no clue where I would be without them and am glad that I never have to find out!!!  I am also greatful to their daddy and my fiance Ian for blessing me with all of them over the last 10 years of us being together!